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VENDING MACHINE, I'M GOING INTO MURDER, AND I NEED ONLY YOUR STRONGEST ITEMS (also, thread tracker)
KEEPING
Sökkvabekkr - A large, glowing purple sword. Outside of looking intimidating, it (thankfully) seems to just be a normal sword. (Received from Aela.)
54. The Dreaded Knarrevik - An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck! (LITERALLY KEEPING OUT OF SPITE FOR THIS THING'S EXISTENCE)
59. “Extra-Large Spice Grinder” - It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace. (he's literally only keeping this until he can find a sword)
60. “Personal Space Reminder” - A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts!
YARD SARDING
14. Waterfall Poster - A full-size wall poster with a beautiful photo of Victoria Falls, the largest waterfall in the world. If you’re not into Rita Hayworth, this might be a useful tool to help you break out of here.
19. Stuffed Kangaroo - About a foot tall, and… it’s a kangaroo, what do you want from me?
10. Diamond - Literally just a raw diamond, about the size of a pea, that looks freshly dug up from somewhere.
Combat Manual (Distant Counter): An odd book that doesn't seem to have any power here. It does hold instructions on how to teach ones self to counterattack from a distance, however. (this is something he recognizes, but it's useless here so he's willing to yard sard it)
01. Matryoshka Dolls - A series of intricately painted nesting dolls, meant for display rather than as a toy for children. At the center there’s… a stick of gum?
06. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know?
55. Free Trial Disc - A CD advertising 2000 hours of free internet. Man, these sure have gotten desperate, huh? (??? the fuck is an internet???)
24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff! (x2)
37. Wetsuit - A full skintight wetsuit! Somehow, despite the random nature of the vending machine, it fits you perfectly.
Withered Bouquet - A bundle of dried flowers. It's hard to tell but they seem to have been lilies.
38. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
15. Malört - A bottle of a foul-tasting liquor produced and distributed exclusively in Chicago, Illinois. It’s literally named after wormwood, if you don’t like strong and bitter alcohol you’ll probably have a bad time.
30. Rations - A set of military rations. At least they’ll never go bad?
11. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there just like hundred different glossy photographs of eggs in here?
02. BBQ Sauce - A bottle of… barbeque sauce. Might be cool if you had, like, a barbeque!
27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
GONE
Cell Phone: It has a cute cell phone case too. It miraculously comes with a charger. (Given back to Mira.)
Sökkvabekkr - A large, glowing purple sword. Outside of looking intimidating, it (thankfully) seems to just be a normal sword. (Received from Aela.)
54. The Dreaded Knarrevik - An IKEA-branded nightstand! Comes unassembled in-box with the instructions missing. Good luck! (LITERALLY KEEPING OUT OF SPITE FOR THIS THING'S EXISTENCE)
59. “Extra-Large Spice Grinder” - It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace. (he's literally only keeping this until he can find a sword)
60. “Personal Space Reminder” - A small handheld device that, when you press a button, generates an external current of electricity. Could be dangerous if you touched someone with the electric parts!
YARD SARDING
14. Waterfall Poster - A full-size wall poster with a beautiful photo of Victoria Falls, the largest waterfall in the world. If you’re not into Rita Hayworth, this might be a useful tool to help you break out of here.
19. Stuffed Kangaroo - About a foot tall, and… it’s a kangaroo, what do you want from me?
10. Diamond - Literally just a raw diamond, about the size of a pea, that looks freshly dug up from somewhere.
Combat Manual (Distant Counter): An odd book that doesn't seem to have any power here. It does hold instructions on how to teach ones self to counterattack from a distance, however. (this is something he recognizes, but it's useless here so he's willing to yard sard it)
01. Matryoshka Dolls - A series of intricately painted nesting dolls, meant for display rather than as a toy for children. At the center there’s… a stick of gum?
06. Hand-Made Paper - Just a loose stack of really fancy bespoke paper! To make those letters you write in case of your death really pop, you know?
55. Free Trial Disc - A CD advertising 2000 hours of free internet. Man, these sure have gotten desperate, huh? (??? the fuck is an internet???)
24. Black Lotuss - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff! (x2)
37. Wetsuit - A full skintight wetsuit! Somehow, despite the random nature of the vending machine, it fits you perfectly.
Withered Bouquet - A bundle of dried flowers. It's hard to tell but they seem to have been lilies.
38. Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
15. Malört - A bottle of a foul-tasting liquor produced and distributed exclusively in Chicago, Illinois. It’s literally named after wormwood, if you don’t like strong and bitter alcohol you’ll probably have a bad time.
30. Rations - A set of military rations. At least they’ll never go bad?
11. Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
44. Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there just like hundred different glossy photographs of eggs in here?
02. BBQ Sauce - A bottle of… barbeque sauce. Might be cool if you had, like, a barbeque!
27. 9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
GONE
Cell Phone: It has a cute cell phone case too. It miraculously comes with a charger. (Given back to Mira.)
